Posting Pauses.

Disclaimer: Please don't be alarmed by this post. It's just a little explanation of why I've been so MIA lately. I'm doing okay, really. :) Loves!

I have tried to write a new post several times this month. Every time, I end up deleting it. It's not that I don't have anything to say...I do. (It is that I don't have any fun photos, but I can deal with that.) It's mostly that in the last few months, communication has been a struggle for me. There are lots of reasons, but I'm not making excuses. So if my communication with you has dropped off the planet, please know it's not just you. It's everyone. I'm trying...I really am. I can't tell you how many times I've started an e-mail, been about to write a post, dialed a phone number, and before I push send or post or call...I just can't bring myself to do it.

I can't explain it, really, except that I just have needed a break. Not that I don't love you--rest assured that even when I don't post, I still check everyday to see if anyone's posted anything new (and get sad when you haven't...despite the fact that I haven't, either...explain that one?!) If you're my facebook friend, I check the news feed to see if you're up to anything new...I do all that. I just can't bring myself to do much more than write a few sentences in a wall post, and maybe a text message (but even those have been pretty scarce).

The truth is, my life has felt pretty upside down these past couple months, and I've needed some time to process...and really, I still do. I'm trying to figure out how I got to where I'm at and where I'm going from here and what to do in the meantime. So I can't promise that I'm gonna actually muster up the energy and motivation to write more frequently, but I am trying. Know that.

I just know that in the past couple weeks, my bestie has told me she was worried because I haven't returned calls or texts (not on purpose...it just happened), several friends have politely informed me that I am "it" (and have been for some time) in our game of communication tag (and believe me, I realize it), and I look at my blog and realize I haven't posted in ages...all these things (and others) add up to one big apology from me.

I'm sorry I haven't been a very good friend lately...I guess I've just needed to try to take care of me for a little while. And even though I have been terrible about communication, please know that I treasure every single one of you and your efforts to reach out to me, comment on my blog, drop me a text, call me (I even USUALLY answer the phone, unless I'm at work or have no voice or am exhausted, which has been the case lately), write on my fb, etc. If I owe you an e-mail or a phone call, keep bugging me about it! I will get back to you eventually. Things have been hard lately, but all I can say is Thank You. Thank you for loving me and caring about me and being a part of my life and sticking with me even when I am massively incommunicado! I'm sorry I've been a jerky friend, but know that I love you!

And I do know that THE BEST IS YET TO COME. Even (especially) when it's hard to remember that. :)