Ponderings...

Hi!  I haven't shown you a photo in a while, but that's just because I haven't really taken a whole lot lately.  But in case you just really need to see a photo, here's a cool one I took in August at the beach, when I still worked at that other place.  You know the one.  We were on a retreat.  And this was out the back window of the house we stayed in:

Cool, huh?  You don't see THAT every day!  Especially if you live in Utah.  Right?

Autumn has been GORGEOUS in Portland (I heard on the radio this morning that conditions have been especially good this year to make the beautiful fall colors extra bright!), but apparently yesterday was the last day of that glorious, sunny, lovely weather.  The rain has begun, folks.  See you in August, sunshine.  :(

I haven't been writing much because I swear I have nothing to write.  And now that I say that, this will probably be a long post.  Because that's the way I am.  Glad you guys like me.  :)

The new job is plugging right along.  There are good days and bad days, of course, and I have to fight to not work overtime (funny, huh?), but overall, it's going well.  I'm MUCH happier than I was before, so that's always good, right?  Now I'm in decision-making mode about my future--now that's the place everyone always wants to be, right?  I'm thinking I'm going to go back to school...and I'm actually pretty serious about it.  So more to come on that when there's more to tell.

Today's my Mom's birthday!!  And here's an adorable story for you...most of you know my mom has worked with people with disabilities...well, pretty much forever....so today, she went up to the high school to help out with their annual pumpkin carving/Halloween party.  (Keep in mind my mom LOVES Halloween--maybe because her birthday's so close?)  She helps out with this pretty much every year, partly because she loves it, partly to see some of her clients at school.  So they were having a drawing to win a HUGE pumpkin, and she decided to put her name in (she never has before), and get this--she WON!!  And she was SO excited about it!  Her immediate response was, "I won????  It's my birthday today and I won???  I've never won anything?"  I think she told me this story at least 4 times while we were on the phone tonight.  Isn't that cute?  She was SO super excited.  Happy birthday, Mama!  :)  Love you!

Ummm...welp, I really don't have much else to tell, except I'm SUPER jealous of all my girlfriends who keep having girls' weekends in states where I'm not!!!  :(  I want to go so bad!!  So I've been having long girl chats over the phone with some of my girls, and it's been fantastic!  (If you're one of those girls, thank you very much--I needed that!!)

Which brings me to my last point: does anyone out there from Uintah's class of '99 know anything about a reunion next summer?  Is there one in the works?  Does anyone know?  And whether there is one or not...and especially if not...I've heard two GREAT ideas this week that I think we should follow through on.  What about a lil' mini-HiLites reunion next summer?  So, my thought is for whoever was in the group like 98-99-00-ish...?  We could combine that with a girls' night/weekend/couple of days?  Especially if there's no class reunion.  And by the way...I am NOT necessarily volunteering to plan this, but I'm TOTALLY up for helping.  Thoughts?

Stick(k) To It!

Need to accomplish a goal?  Well, this website could be your new best friend.  Click here to discover stickk.com.  And if you need me to be your accountability person, I'm happy to do it!  :)

Just Call Me Peter.

Pan, that is.  Because sometimes, I do NOT want to be an adult.  I don't want to grow up.  Today I spent $550 fixing my car because something was causing a valve to stay open and make my car think it was Herbie the Love Bug or a race car or something.  How is that fun?  This could end up being a super gripey post, and I don't want it to be, so let's just say this:  I want to go back to where someone else paid for things, where when the world hurts, someone else can take care of it and make you feel better, and when the most difficult thing I had to decide every day was what outfit to wear, or if my hair should go in a ponytail or a barrette.  Why was I in such a hurry to grow up?  I wish I could be a kid again.

Let It Be OVER.

That's how I'm feeling about the whole "Election Season."  Seriously, we've been watching these crappy commercials and listening to people slamming and bashing each other for over TWO YEARS now for this whole "I want to be President" thing.  You know, like most little kids, I used to think someday maybe I would want to be President, but NOT the way they play it these days.  They all fight dirty.  And I don't get it.  Have you EVER watched a political ad where one candidate bashes another and thought, "Gosh, I think I'll vote for that guy!"?  NO!!  And neither has anyone else in the country.  I don't get why political candidates think that's good campaigning.  I don't know of ANYONE who enjoys those commercials, gets anything out of them, or finds them remotely helpful.  Hey Politicians, guess what--WE ALL HATE IT WHEN YOU BASH EACH OTHER!  JUST BE NICE, WOULD YOU?!?!?  Good grief, people.

And could we EVER get a single candidate who cares about things that are important?  Like LIFE?  You know, it's funny, because I remember senior year of high school, in Mr. Barnes's College Prep Government class, he read positions to us over and over and over and had us go back and forth from one side of the classroom to the other based on which statements we agreed with.  By the end, whichever side we'd spent the most time on was the side we most closely agreed with, and that side aligned with one or the other of the major parties.  And I found I had a major problem with at least one aspect of each party--death penalty on one side, abortion on the other.  

I don't get why neither of the major parties can care about life in all its facets.  They're for abortion--for killing babies--and get away with it by calling it "pro-choice."  Or they call themselves "pro-life," because they oppose abortion, but they're for playing God and enacting the death penalty.  They're for killing off grandma and grandpa because they're no longer deemed "useful," or they happen to be sick.  They're for war.  Remember how our moms and dads told us to talk things out with people and use our words?  When did we forget to try that before just bombing the crap out of the so-called "enemy?"  Why can't we look out for the betterment of the American people--ALL of them--instead of the interests of the rich, the privileged, the special interest groups, the people with the loudest voices, etc.?

There's this ad in Oregon where a candidate is telling me all about how horrible the other one is because, God forbid, he wants to overturn Roe v. Wade and lower the number of abortions, but HE, on the other hand, would NEVER do that.  And every time I see it, I think, "Why on earth would I ever vote for you?"  Holy crow.  (Click here if you want to see that ridiculous ad.)

I do think it's VITAL for each of us to vote.  I probably won't tell you who I vote for, and you don't have to tell me who you're voting for, but if you have the privilege to vote, I think you have a responsibility to vote.  And if you DON'T vote, you have NO right to complain about things, because you had a chance to have your say and you didn't take it.  If you vote, then you have the right to complain, because you did your best to follow your conscience and make a decision for the betterment of everyone.

The point is, I don't think either candidate is ideal this year, and I'm sick of the whole "lesser of two evils" crap.  Both of them have some really great ideas and some really good things about them, and both of them have some MAJOR problems, too.  Why can we NEVER have a politically moderate candidate?  (And I mean a TRUE moderate, not an uber who claims to be moderate.)  Whatever happened to actually having a really good candidate?  Why can't there be a candidate who runs on a platform of international diplomacy, support for life in all it's forms, etc.?  I guess it's because it's like they always say...if Jesus were running for President, he'd be unelectable.  *sigh*  I'm so sick of all this nonsense.  And the sad thing is, this kind of stuff gives "politics" a bad name, because politics in their real form are quite fascinating, not back-stabbing, bitter, name-calling, repetitive, and horrible. 

This year we'll ALL have something to be thankful for--the end of all this national crap.  Can it just be Thanksgiving already?  

To Flu, or Not To Flu?

So, here's a question: do you guys get flu shots?  Are you a never ever or an every year kind of kid?  Why?

I've never gotten one ever before, but yesterday I decided to do it since I was already getting shot up at the allergist anyway.  Hey, if you're going to get one shot, you might as well get two, right?

So, if you are a flu shot-getter, have you ever had a weird reaction?  My mom gets them every year without fail and is much healthier since she started getting them.  My dad, on the other hand, has gotten them 2-3 times, and without fail, those are the years he's gotten the flu and been sicker than he ever has before; years he doesn't get a flu shot, he doesn't get the flu.

What do you think about all this?

John and Leah, Sittin' In a Tree...

Mr. and Mrs. John and Leah Nusse!

Seriously, aren't these 2 adorable?  Their wedding was SOOOO beautiful!  They are INSANE, because they decided it would be a good idea to have an outdoor wedding in Oregon in OCTOBER, but all the prayers must have worked!  It rained, rained, rained all day (and the day before), but the sky cleared out and there was blue sky (and even a little sunshine) for about 2 hours--just long enough for their ceremony and some photos, and by the time it started raining again, most everyone was underneath the tents or the pavilion for dinner and dancing.  Glorious!  Thanks, God, for that little miracle!

They got married at this cool place called Bridal Veil Lakes (PERFECT for an August wedding...).  We were all sitting outside on chairs set up in this little grove of trees waiting, and waiting, trying to figure out what the hold up was, when we looked up and saw...

John and his groomsmen, coming across the lake in canoes!!  It was AWESOME!! So picturesque.  And perfectly John.  

All the men canoed across the lake in front of us, and pulled up at a dock a few feet away, where they were met by John's dad.  The men then walked up behind us to where the bridesmaids were waiting, and they processed down the aisle.  It was beautiful.  

The officiant did a great job of telling John and Leah's story, from the beginning (including how I set them up--which means I officially have TWO success stories of setting people up and having them get married, so I WIN, Aunt Debbie!!) through now.  He had previously had both John and Leah write letters to him explaining what each loved about the other, and he incorporated large chunks of their own words into his reflection.  It was truly beautiful, and I don't think there was a dry eye in the house.  He also did an awesome job of incorporating God and aspects of Leah's Catholic faith into the ceremony without making it a specifically "Catholic" (with a big "C") wedding.  It was lovely, and very touching.

Leah told me they wanted to spend the bulk of their money on food for a great party, and believe me, it showed.  The food was AWESOME!!  It was all very unique (with a bow to John's gluten and lactose intolerances), but nothing too exotic, and every single thing was DELICIOUS.  Especially the salmon with the maple-marjoram glaze.  Yummmm!  They did their own music by making a playlist of songs they love on iTunes and the music was fantastic!  It was a total blast, and we didn't have to deal with any crappy DJ or lame music.  People seriously danced for hours.

They went non-traditional with the cake, and had only the top layer as an actual cake (gluten-free, for John), and that's what they cut--the rest of the "cake" was 3 different types of cupcakes, which were adorable.  And DELICIOUS.  They had spice cake ones with beautiful, fragile chocolate hearts on the top, strawberry cupcakes with a strawberry filling, and chocolate cupcakes topped with a chocolate-covered espresso bean.  It was fun, cute, and they didn't have to wait for someone to cut their cake.  I totally approve of this idea.  There was more than enough for everyone, and I think most people even tried 2 or all 3 kinds.  

We had a great evening, dancing under a pavilion in the woods in the rain, and John and Leah headed off on their Mexican honeymoon adventure shortly before midnight.  Considering that the wedding was at 3:30, I'd say it was a successful party, and a great start to their new marriage adventure!

Congratulations, Leah and John!  Love you guys!!!

We know the ending...LOVE WINS!!!

Yesterday I had to work a booth at a conference, and I had the opportunity to see ValLimar Jansen perform/speak/sing for the 2nd time, and this lady is AMAZING!!  She seriously has holiness OOZING out of her.  What an awesome faith and spirituality she has!  It was a blessing to be around her, and I was doubly blessed to get to spend some time with her.  I wanted to put up a video so you can see how amazing she is, but for some reason it doesn't want to load.  Sad story.  

Anyway, a friend of my aunt's (a lady I happen to know fairly well through my aunt) came down to see Val, as they've become pretty good friends, and she ended up being asked at the last minute to be Val's accompanist.  Ann is AMAZING, so it wasn't that much of a stretch, but for the workshop they did, they needed some extra help, so they asked me.  :)  It was awesome.

The title of this post was something Val kept saying over and over throughout the day, something I think we all need to be reminded of more often--when things are hard or we're struggling, or when when we listen to stories from the Bible, and in MANY other cases, we have to remember that because of Jesus, we already know the end of the story--LOVE WINS!!  

A Tip for Guys (and Everyone Else, Too).

(This photo actually has nothing to do with this post (but I'll try to tie it in).  I just happen to love sea otters, and it thought it was time to post a photo, so this little guy caught my eye.  This is from our trip to the zoo when Erik's sister and brother-in-law came to visit a few weeks ago.  Isn't he cute?!)

Here's my tip: unless someone asks you for advice or input, don't try to fix things.  Don't we all have that urge?  When someone comes to you with a problem, isn't your first thought something like, "Hmmm...well, if I were in this situation..."?  I think a lot of us tend to get into that mode.  I know I do.  But a few years ago I took a class in pastoral counseling, and one of the cardinal rules of counseling is to never try and fix things for the person, never offer advice, just listen.  

Because let's face it: when you're the one with the problem, especially if you happen to be a woman, don't you usually just need to talk about it?  Whenever I have something bugging me or frustrating me, I need (not want) to talk to someone about it.  Notice I said talk to, not talk with.  I do this with my mom all the time.  If I'm frustrated about work or relationships or school or whatever, I'll call her because I need to talk, maybe even vent.  And my mom, God bless her, is awesome about this, but she frequently starts telling me the best way to "fix" whatever my issue might be.  And the conversation usually ends with me saying something along the lines of, "I don't want you to fix it, I just want you to listen and say, 'You know, you're right.  That really sucks.' And I don't want to talk about it anymore." 

Here's a perfect example: a few years ago when I was in Florida working with the Red Cross, I forgot my pillow at the first place we stayed, and I didn't have my pillow with me anymore.  I left it in a different town, and couldn't really go back to get it.  I really, really loved that pillow, and I have a really hard time sleeping if I don't have a good pillow, so when I realized I left it, I was bummed.  But more than that, I'd had a long, difficult day of helping lots of people in crisis, one after another, and I was mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted.  I called my parents to chat with them at the end of the day and tell them how I was doing, and I mentioned how bummed I was that I'd left my pillow in this other town.  My mom had all kinds of great advice about calling the hotel and asking them to send it to me, etc., but to be honest, I didn't want to hear it.  Her advice just frustrated me more!  Finally I said, "Mom, please just tell me that it sucks and don't tell me how to fix it.  I know how to fix it."  So she said, "Gosh, Jen, that really sucks that you don't have your pillow anymore.  Let me know if you need me to help you figure out a way to get it back."  Now THAT was what I needed.

Tonight I was talking with Erik on the phone about some stuff going on with my new job that I've been kind of (okay, really) stressed out about.  He was so awesome.  He listened and listened for a long time, barely said anything, then said, "I'm really sorry about all that.  I know how excited you are about this job, and I know this is really hard for you.  I'm sorry you've had a tough week.  Just remember that you don't have to find ultimate fulfillment in your job--that's what God is for.  It'll be okay."  It was PERFECT, and exactly what I needed to hear.  I just needed someone to understand, to listen, and to commiserate.  He didn't tell me what I should say or how I should fix it, he just listened, agreed, and told me he loves me.  Looks like those communication classes paid off!  :)

So, guys (and everyone else), just remember--if a girl comes to talk with you about something that's bothering you, unless she asks you to help her fix it, chances are she just wants you to listen closely, say, "I'm sorry, that really sucks," and move on.  (There's research to back this up, too!)  Take a tip from our sea otter friend--sit back, relax, and just listen.   

Crazy 8's Tag from Audj

8 TV shows that I love to watch 8? Oh, man.  Like I ever get to watch that much TV!! Uhhh...I'll try...

1 - Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (I cry EVERY time!)
2 - LOST (Erik and I have LOST dates every week when it's on.)
3 - Heroes...although I haven't watched it this season at all.
4 - Ummm....sometimes I watch Grey's Anatomy and/or ER...I like medical shows!
5 - Ellen and Oprah--whichever one is better that day.  Usually Ellen.
6 - The Biggest Loser...I totally get addicted when I start watching.  Hello, motivation! (The only reality show I can really handle.)
7 - Everybody Loves Raymond (I seriously used to hate this show, but it's hilarious!!)
8 - Whatever the most interesting thing that happens to be on one of the TVs at the gym while I'm running might be...

8 Favorite Restaurants
1 - Wolf Lodge (Coeur d'Alene)
2 - Ella's Supper Club (used to be in Spokane, but it just closed!  :(  Boo!)
3 - Vivace (Portland)
4 - Macaroni Grill
5 - Cheesecake Factory
6 - The Brick Oven (Provo)
7 - Red Canyon Lodge (Flaming Gorge)
8 - McMenamins...for the ambience, not necessarily the food.

8 Things that happened yesterday
1 - Erik invited me over for dinner.
2 - Watched most of "Ironman" with Erik, Dave, and Pamela.
3 - Worked an hour late.
4 - Missed going to the gym (see number 3).
5 - Talked to my mom on the phone.
6 - Watched part of the Presidential Debate on TV.
7 - Got up way too early and went to bed waaaay too late...as usual.
8 - Looked for plane tickets to Europe and started planning my trip!!

8 Things that I am looking forward to
1 - Getting married...someday.  
2 - Being a mom...but after #1 happens.
3 - Going to Debi's wedding in the South of France (it WILL happen, even if I'm poor!!)
4 - Hopefully seeing Wicked this spring.
5 - Figuring out what I want to be when I grow up and actually doing it.
6 - Not feeling poor all the time (finding a job that actually pays me a little!!)
7 - Hip hop every Monday and Zumba every Wednesday.
8 - The next time I get to see my family--hopefully Utah for Christmas!!

8 Things on my wish list
1 - Record on a CD.
2 - Learn to play the piano and violin and get better at guitar.
3 - Go to Africa, India, Australia...um...okay, see the WORLD!
4 - Be in a musical one more time. (Stolen from Audri--but me, too!!)
5 - Become a sign language interpreter.
6 - Own a sailboat and/or a kayak.
7 - Be in better shape (and stop getting injured!!)
8 - Be the voice of a disney charater. (I want to steal this one, too!, Audj!)

8a - (Because I stole 2 of Audri's) Use my education/skills/talents to help people.

8 People I Tag

Both Amy's (Merrill and Vawter), April, Amber, Joleen, Renee, Deborah, and... whoever else wants to do it! (I know, it's a cop out...but I can't think of anyone else who would want to do it!)

P.S.  Audri!!  This was HARD for me!!  8 is A LOT!!

Never Get in a Car Accident.

Over 14 months ago, on my first day of work (my second day in Oregon), I got rear-ended on my way home from work.  Talk about a nightmare!!  Erik hadn't yet moved to Oregon, I had literally JUST met my roommate, I barely knew anyone out here, and suddenly I found myself on the side of a country road, car totalled, injured, in shock, and a crying, bawling mess--by myself.  

I was at a stop and the woman driving the car that hit me wasn't paying attention and hit me full force--she didn't even try to brake.  And the road we were on has a 50 mph speed limit (or maybe higher), so she wasn't going slow.  I remember my body flying forward, then as my car hit the truck stopped in front of me, I slammed back into my seat.  I literally didn't even know what hit me.  At first I thought I must have accidently taken my foot off the brake and just hit the truck in front of me, and I couldn't understand how it could have happened.  It took me a minute to realize I'd been hit from behind.  I didn't see it coming at all.  She hit me so hard my rearview mirror flew off and landed up under the dashboard on the passenger side--I didn't realize it had fallen until much later when I looked up and couldn't see the car behind me.

Shaking, I got out of the car, and the two gentlemen in the truck I'd slammed into walked over toward me.  I asked them if they were okay; luckily, both men were fine, and their truck didn't even have a scratch.  Their trailer hitch punched a hole in my hood, but the truck was fine.  Thankfully I had the presence of mind to ask for their information, and they both gave me their business cards.  They asked if I was okay (I clearly wasn't), and they both told me I should go to the ER.  Since they and their vehicle were all fine, they went on their way.  

The woman who hit me was sitting in her car on the phone, so I got back in my car and called Erik.  Earlier he had told me to call him and tell him all about my first day of work, so he was on my mind anyway, and in my shocked state, I couldn't think of anything else to do.  So I called him and told him what had happened--poor kid, he was on his way to work and suddenly had a hysterical girlfriend in shock in another state, not knowing where she was, if she was okay, and how to get her some help.  I had to quickly hang up the phone when the lady walked up to my car.  

To make a long story short, somehow over the next hour or so Erik talked with my family, I talked with my family, the paramedics checked me out and told me I should go to the ER (in my shock I refused to go via ambulance, not realizing my car wasn't able to be driven, I had to have my car towed, and I rode to the hospital in the back of a police car.  I basically spent the better part of 3 hours on the phone with Erik, my parents, my sister, tow companies, insurance companies, etc.  Every time anyone would ask me if I was okay, I broke down in tears.  I had to call my brand new boss and tell him I didn't know how I would manage to get to work the next day because my car was being towed.  It was horrible, and continued to get worse as my experience in the ER was atrocious.  My boss came down to the hospital and sat with me for 3 hours, then gave me a ride home when I was finally released.  I didn't go to work the next day (I didn't have a car to get there anyway), and I have been in pretty significant pain ever since.

Let me tell you, if you've never experienced having to do all this in an unfamiliar city surrounded by strangers and not knowing ANYONE, it is NOT a fun experience.  I have never felt so alone in my life.  Erik was awesome and called his roommate (a friend from college who lives in the area), and he came down to the hospital to check on me when he finally managed to find out where I was.  My sister called her best friend and told her I might need some help.  And my roommate, who I didn't know AT ALL, offered to come pick me up or sit with me, etc.  So those were the blessings out of this--my friends are amazing.  Erik called me multiple times that day and in subsequent days to check on me, as did my family.

My car ended up being declared a total loss (another hysterical tear-inducing announcement), I had to buy a new car, I had to spend months in therapy, and am still not 100%--not even close, actually.  I had a fairly bad experience with a lawyer, ended up parting ways with her, and have since retained another attorney.  The insurance company stopped paying on my medical claims, even though money is still owed, and now the hospital has sent me to collections (another nightmare all its own).  So now I'm all tangled up in this giant settlement and I just want it to be over.  EVERY SINGLE DAY my neck and shoulders cause me intense pain (whiplash is the WORST!!), and I have to keep dealing with annoying accident crap over and over.  I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL THIS IS OVER!!!  

I'm at the point now that I completely don't even care how much my body hurts, and I've never cared how much money I get out of the whole situation.  I just want my stupid medical bills to be paid and this to be over.  Thank God my parents were able to help me get another car, because the payout amount they gave me for my totalled car did not pay for the balance of the new car--at least that's one nightmare we could work through with minimal drama.  

The worst part of this whole thing is that I DID NOTHING WRONG!!!  The accident was IN NO WAY my fault--and NO ONE disputes that!  The driver of the other vehicle took full responsibility at the scene and has ever since.  She wasn't paying attention, she looked down or was on her phone or whatever, and slammed into me--but SHE was able to drive away that day.  Sure, her car was a little worse for the wear, but it wasn't totalled.  She slammed into me, and she walked away just fine, no injuries, a couple thousand dollars damage to her car--which her insurance probably paid for.  Basically just a relatively minor annoyance.  And considering that she was driving a Lexus, she could probably afford the repairs anyway.

But me?  My first few months in Oregon were a NIGHTMARE.  I had to buy a new car.  Spend a year dealing with crappy lawyers and insurance companies.  Spend MONTHS in therapy and going to appointments (over 50 in four months).  Get bill after bill after bill for money I DON'T OWE because the insurance company is supposed to pay.  Get sent to freaking collections.  And have to be reminded EVERY SINGLE DAY about the stupid accident by the pain in my back, neck, and shoulders.  

So, I'm complaining.  Sorry.  

But the moral of the story is this:  Never Get in a Car Accident (if you can help it!).  They are no fun at all.  :(

Congratulations, John and Leah!

Congratulations to John and Leah, two of the most wonderful people I know, who are getting married this afternoon!!  After five years of dating, it's about time!  :)  (Just kidding.)  These two people are the epitome of perfect for each other, and aren't they adorable?  I'm SO excited for this afternoon--God, just do us a favor and keep the rain away!!  :)

I'll post photos sometime soon.

"If You Want to Be Somebody...

...if you want to go somewhere, 

You'd better wake up and PAY ATTENTION!"  

(Name that movie.)  But seriously, PAY ATTENTION.  Do you know what month it is?  My blog says it's October now.  So do you know what that means?  We all know October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, right?  Right.  We've all started to see those little pink ribbons showing up all over the place, we're hearing about the Susan G. Komen Run/Walks taking place all over the country--this is a serious problem and we take this month to put it in the face of the public, raising awareness and support for women and their families who have survived this terrible illness and remembering those who lost that fight.

But October calls us to remember another awesome group of people, too.

Do you know what that group is?

October is National Down Syndrome Awareness Month.  Raise your hand if you knew that.  Probably not too many of us did, huh?  

My mom has worked with people with disabilities since I was a little kid, so for me, they have never held the stigma they do for some people.  When you spend your time as a child hanging out with people with autism, Down syndrome, schizophrenia, etc., (under extremely close supervision, of course, as they were adults and I was a kid), you don't see people with disabilities as "different," you just see them as people.  

That's probably why I started volunteering with Special Olympics in about 8th grade, why I did my Girl Scout Silver Award project for a group home, why I volunteered as a peer tutor in a Special Ed. classroom, why I worked in a Special Ed preschool, why my best friend in Kindergarten and 1st grade was deaf and I used to spend recess in First Grade helping a girl who was blind around the playground...you can see it's shaped my life in a lot of ways.  I could tell you sooooo many amazing stories about people with disabilities, and I bet my sister could, too--our parents did a good job raising us to be tolerant, loving people who can see beyond differences of all kinds.  We were lucky.

But in high school, I learned that occasionally, when we can all put our biases and preconceived notions aside, amazing things can happen.  When I was a senior in high school (some of you will remember this), there was a guy in the Special Ed. class named Chip.  Chip was hilarious, sweet, funny, clever--and he happened to have Down syndrome.  I had been hanging out with Chip, helping him at Special Olympics, working in his classroom, etc,. for years, and we knew each other pretty well.

Every year for homecoming, each club or group was allowed to nominate a guy and a girl for Homecoming King and Queen.  The Special Ed. class was no exception; Uintah H.S. had a pretty cool policy that the nominees from special ed. would automatically "win" 3rd runner up, so they would be able to participate and have this kind of honor whether people voted for them or not.  Pretty cool, considering we all know the type of people who are typically in Homecoming court are the cheerleader, football captain types--opportunities these kids didn't have.  So each club had to design a float for the parade, do a skit in the homecoming assembly, and I'm sure there were other requirements I don't remember.  

How I managed to fit all this into my schedule senior year is beyond me, because all I remember about that year is LITERALLY living at school, maybe sleeping for 3-4 hours at my folks' house each night.  But I was involved in the leadership of the Special Ed club (I was president or something...I can't remember), so I helped.  We worked really hard to put the skit together, and all the kids from the class were in it.  And I couldn't tell you what it was about, but I remember it was HILARIOUS.  I was SO proud of them because the whole school laughed and laughed...and they weren't laughing AT them, because they had disabilities, they were laughing because they did such a great job and their skit was freaking hysterical!  :)

So we went through the week, finishing the float, doing all the required things, and by Thursday (voting day) we had all had such a great week we were just excited for all the weekend festivities.  Our two candidates had NO idea they would "automatically" be in Homecoming Court, so that would be a fun surprise at the pep assembly that night when my friend Janna and I had to pick them up and take them.  

After school that day, my friend Cheya, our class Vice President, came and found me.  "Jen, I have to tell you something," she said.

"What's up, Chey?"

"Well...we've been counting the votes for Homecoming king and queen and...well...Chip and Michelle are winning."

"WHAT?!  Are you serious????"  I had goosebumps all over.

"Yeah," Chey said.  "Um...by a landslide.  We still have votes to count, but I really think they're going to win King and Queen."

"Oh my gosh, that's amazing," I was practically crying with excitement at this point.  Not only was Chip winning, but the girl (I think her name was Michelle) from the Special Ed. class who was running for queen was ALSO winning--and she had literally just moved to town a few months earlier and hardly anyone even knew her.  "Chey, will you call me when you know for sure?  I have to pick them up and bring them to the pep assembly, and it would be awesome to know."  

So that afternoon, I was ECSTATIC when Cheya called and told me they had, indeed, both won--by a landslide.  I have NEVER been so proud of my classmates in my life.  I told my mom and we both were kind of freaking out because it would be so cool for them.  

That night I picked up Janna and told her they had won, so we would be prepared to help them get down to the Football field when it was announced at the end of the assembly.  We picked Chip and Michelle up at their houses and took them to school.  It was kind of a long, silly pep assembly (lots of cheerleading, dance team, flag team stuff, etc.), and Chip started asking, "Is it over yet?  Are we going home now?" long before it was time to announce Homecoming Court.  Finally the moment arrived.  When they announced the winners, Janna and I looked at them and said, "You guys!  You won!!"  They were shocked.  Michelle was jumping up and down and Chip looked at us, confused, so I said, "Chip!  You won!  You're the king!"  He just grinned, as understanding broke across his face.  

"I'm the King?" he asked.

"Yeah!  Come on you guys...we need to go down to the field!"

So we headed them down toward the field, and Jan and I stood on the sidelines and watched, tears streaming down both our faces.  It was such an awesome thing to see.  When it was all over, we got in the car and headed out to take them home.

When we dropped Chip off, his mom was at the door.  "Hey, buddy.  How'd it go?" she asked Chip.

"I'm the King," he answered.

"What did you say?"

"I'm the King."

She looked at me, confusion written all over her face.  I nodded.  "Chip's right.  He won.  He's the Homecoming King."  She just continued to look at me, baffled.  "The student body voted them in--Chip and Michelle are the Homecoming King and Queen.  They won, fair and square."

As belief swept over her, tears began to roll down her cheeks.  "My Chip is the Homecoming King?"  

"Yep," I grinned.  "Awesome, huh?"  

She turned and gave Chip a huge hug, still crying, while he continued to say, "I'm the King, mom.  I'm the King."  She thanked Janna and I profusely, and we headed off to Michelle's. 

The scene at her house was fairly similar, although I think Michelle had a clearer concept of what it meant to her to be chosen as Queen.  She practically bounced into her house, yelling to her mom that she was the Queen.  We had a similar, tearful conversation full of disbelief with Michelle's mom, congratulated her, and headed out.  

Jan and I were so happy to be the ones with them that night.  It was an amazing experience.  The next day I helped them get onto the float for Homecoming Court, then rode in the parade on the HiLites (our show choir) float myself.  The weekend was a whirlwind of activity, between singing at the football game, going on the second worst date of my life (another story for another time...but April would probably concur.  It was bad, but we laugh about it now), and heading to the Homecoming Dance.  The best part of the whole weekend was, once we arrived a the dance (much to our dates' chagrin) we immediately went to find Chip and Michelle.  They looked awesome!  The were totally dressed to the nines--Michelle was beautiful in her long sparkly dress, and Chip looked SO good in his suit and crown.  Everyone wanted to dance with the two of them, and I think they had a really great time.  I danced with Chip, and I remember asking him if he was having fun.  His response was something like this:  "Yes.  I'm having fun.  I'm the King.  I won.  I'm the King."  It was great.

So, that's just one awesome example of how people with Down syndrome can do anything.  Have you ever known anyone with Down syndrome?  Probably nearly all of us have, but that likelihood is, tragically, decreasing every day.   Here are some statistics on Down syndrome:

*Recent US studies have indicated that when Down syndrome is diagnosed prenatally, 84% to 91% of those babies will be killed by abortion (1999)

*About 5,000 children are born with Down syndrome each year in the US (Association for Children with Down Syndrome)

*Studies show between 1 out of every 733 to 1 out of every 800 babies born alive have Down syndrome (about .12%)

*In 2002, only 40 babies were born with Down Syndrome in the UK

*The average lifespan for a person with Down syndrome today is 55, with many living into their 70s and 80s

In general, people with Down syndrome are some of the most loving, gentle souls you'll ever encounter.  It's a tragedy that so many of these babies are being aborted due to pressure from doctors, false positives in pre-natal screening, poor information given to terrified parents regarding lifespan and care, etc.  This is why it's SO important to recognize this month, yes, as Breast Cancer Awareness month, but also as Down Syndrome Awareness Month.  

After all, don't we all thing it's important to keep little guys like this around?:

Baby Matthew at his first birthday party--a day he was never supposed to see!

If you want to know more about Down syndrome, do some research, help bust some of the fear and stereotypes out there, and help us remember that we are all beautiful parts of God's creation...whether we have 46 chromosomes or 47!  And if you want to know more about this beautiful little guy and hear their story from a parent's perspective, check out Matthew's blog.

"The Bottom Has Dropped Out on Summer."

That's the word on the weather tonight.  That is not good news.  Sad day.

Here comes the rain.  :(

If you think about it--my friends, Leah and John, are getting married outside on Saturday--say a prayer that the weather guys are wrong.

Shootin' Up.

Ha ha.  Made you wonder, right?  :)

So, this summer I STRUGGLED with crazy allergy issues--worse than I have in a long, long time.  My eyes were all swollen and peeling and weird--I literally couldn't wear make-up for more than 3 months.  And this was right in the middle of marathon wedding season.  No fun, really.

So I went to the doctor.  And he was worthless.  So then I went to the allergist and they decided to do a bunch of allergy testing--oh, man.  Have you ever had allergy testing done before?  NO FUN.  They poke you with 40+ different kinds of things that you might be allergic to (called a scritch test)--after making you go for 3 days with no allergy medicine.  So (if you're like me) you go in feeling kind of crappy, anyway, because your allergies are raging out of control with no medication in your system to curb them, and then they poke you with likely allergens and make you wait around to see if you die...I mean, react...or not.  Sounds fun, huh?

I should have had them write down my allergens, because I totally don't remember them, but the things I massively reacted to were blue grass and wheat grass and rye grass (2 of those 3...can't remember), which apparently are the 2 types of grass in the majority of people's lawns.  Awesome.  No wonder whenever I sit down on the grass I break out in hives.  No wonder I felt like complete crap at Creation Fest this summer, when you are camping, sleeping, sitting, and living in the grass for a week with no place to escape.  I'm also allergic to alfalfa (duh...that would explain my extreme allergy to hay), some weird type of mold found in composting (good thing I'm not THAT environmentally conscious, eh?!), and a bunch of weeds, including mugwort, which we'll come back to in a moment.

I told them I know I'm allergic to nuts and have been since I was a little kid.  Since I know I react to them, they wouldn't test my skin and risk a reaction.  (Wait...didn't we just poke me 40 times hoping to GET a reaction?  Okay....)  So I had to go get blood drawn at a different lab so they could send it in and test it while I waited a week for the results.  The awesome part of the whole day was how they check you after like 10 minutes to see what you react to, so some of them popped up in big hives right away and I'm obviously allergic to those.  What they missed were the ones (all but about 3 or 4 out of 40+) that continued to swell bigger and bigger for about an hour after I left.  So who knows if they really determined all the things I'm actually allergic to or not?

A week later, they called with the results of my nut test:  negative.  WHAT?!?!  Apparently my blood tests came back negative for allergic reactions to any nuts.  This is NUTS!!  If I'm not allergic, then why do they make me die?  (Almost literally.)  Hmmm?  Well, the nurse explained to me that the blood test results don't really mean anything (then why did I get blood drawn???  Do you see how this whole process is SO confusing?), and asked me to come back so they could poke me again, this time with nuts.  

Here we go again.  This time I got about 12 pokes instead of 40, but still, not that enjoyable.  Apparently I'm pretty significantly allergic to walnuts, pecans, and brazilnuts (I think).  They wouldn't test my skin for almond, because I know if I have shampoo or anything with almond in it, I get hives.  So they just decided to avoid that one.  But at the same time, they tested my skin for peanuts, even though my peanut reactions threaten hospital visits.  (WHAT THE HECK?!?  So, they'll test me for the thing that kills me, but heaven forbid we risk me getting hives...which is the point of this test anyway...to see which allergens cause hives...)  And guess what.  I barely react to peanuts at all in the skin test.  WHAT?  How does that work?  Well, here's the funny thing...I told her I'm also allergic to raw celery, and so she got to thinking, and she looked them up and found out that peanuts and celery are BOTH listed as cross-reactions to guess what--MUGWORT.  Remember how I said we'd get back to that?  Well, apparently I'm massively allergic to mugwort, which somehow also could be causing my peanut and celery allergies.  I totally don't get it, but that's okay.  And interestingly, kiwi is also a cross-reaction with mugwort, and my sister is SUPER allergic to kiwi.

And since we were talking about family allergies, my mom and sister both test as being allergic to the type of latex in intubation tubes (good to know in case you're ever unconscious and need to be intubated or going in for major surgery!), and being allergic to kiwi and/or bananas are also indicators for that particular latex allergy.  Apparently testing for latex requires another blood test (no thanks) and they don't have a poke test for kiwi, but they do have one for bananas.  And lo and behold, turns out I'm somewhat allergic to bananas--I actually show that I'm MORE allergic to bananas than peanuts in the skin test.  Interesting.

So, to wrap up a long story and get back to the title of this post (sorry guys...some of my medically minded friends are actually interested in this kind of stuff!!  If you couldn't care less, sorry you've read this far already!  You can stop reading now...it won't get better) they decided I should get allergy shots.

Do you know what allergy shots are?  Basically they take all the things they know you're allergic to, mix them all together in a serum, and SHOOT THEM INTO YOUR ARM.  Supposedly this is a good idea.  The thought is, they give you a little bit at a time and teach your body to stop caring about the allergens by building up a tolerance and hopefully helping you get over these allergies.  Food allergies don't work this way, but for all the other stuff, that's what they do.  They start with a little bit, then up your dosage a little each time until you get over it.

So the first week they just give you a little bit.  You get a shot every week for 6 weeks, then every other week for 6 times, then once a month for a year.  And then you're done.  They started me on shots the same day as my second scritch test and made me wait around for 20 minutes "to make sure you don't sparkle and shine for us."  I was totally fine.  By the end of the evening, my arm was itchy and I had a hive that was hot and about 2 inches in diameter, but it was fine.  So when I went for my second shot, she asked me how it went, and I told her.  She said they shouldn't itch, so she made me wait for 20 minutes afterwards to see if I'd react.  Nothing.  I didn't react at all the second time around.  That meant that for number 3, I didn't have to hang around and wait, so I went right before my first day of work at my new job.  (Smart, right?)  I got that one in my right arm (the first 2 were in my left), and it was fine for awhile, just a little bit itchy and hot.  The next morning when I woke up, my whole arm ached like crazy, but I thought I just slept on it wrong and didn't relate it to the shot (duh).  So yesterday was round 4.  I didn't wait around, but by the end of the day, I had a huge, red, swollen, itchy hive on my arm about 5 inches long and 3 inches wide--basically the whole back of my arm.  And then this morning when I woke up, my arm was KILLING me!!  All day it has ached from my shoulder to my wrist.  I don't think this is uncommon, actually, but I'm not too sure what to tell the nurse next week.  The thing is, even if she makes me wait 20 minutes, I know that the reaction doesn't totally show up until hours later--if I get my shot first thing in the morning, the reaction on my arm is the worst right before I go to bed.  20 minutes isn't going to tell them anything.  

My parents say that this achey arm thing is totally normal (they've both had allergy shots before), and that having my arm hurt like crazy for one day a week (and itch for another) will be worth it when I can sit on the grass and not get hives, etc.  I'm trying to believe that, but seriously...my arm is killing me.  It better be a HECK of a lot better when I wake up tomorrow!!  2 more shots before I get to go to every other week.  That's a bright side, right?  

So, does anyone know anything about allergies and allergy shots?  Has anyone ever had them before?  Is this stuff "normal," or should I be worried about my itchy, achey, swollen arm?  If you know anything about this stuff, let me know!  In the meantime, these shots better work, or I want my money back!!  :)  (Just kidding.)

That Guy's Got Talent.

Holy smokes, people.  I promise, I haven't really watched this season of "America's Got Talent" at all, partly because I haven't had time, partly because I wasn't that interested, and partly because it wasn't that good this year.  But I did watch part of the finals last week and part of the finale tonight.

And I still think the violin guys from Harlem should have won.

But did you HEAR that guy sing?  He makes me want to love opera.  Both last week and this week when I heard him singing that piece...oh, man.  I was literally frozen.  I HAD to stop and listen.  It's BEAUTIFUL.  It gave me goosebumps both times.  

And while I don't really think people will be that excited to go watch an hour-long show in Vegas consisting entirely of opera (which is why I think the violin guys should have won), one thing's for sure:  that guy's got TALENT.  Buckets of it.  Maybe the right guy won after all...