And the Rough News Is...

Marjorie Montana Hogan Forsman

We lost another family member last month. My 95-year-old Grandma Margie passed away on March 27. It was pretty unexpected and sudden, but that in itself was a blessing. In all reality, she was 95. She lived a good, long life, and at the end, she was tired and ready to go. But losing a loved one is never easy, even when you know all that is true, and it's been tough on my dad to lose his mom.

Grandma's high school graduation photo--so beautiful!

My parents were with her in Montana when she passed away. The truth is, I think she was just waiting for my dad to get there. She had been in the hospital for a couple weeks having some trouble with her heart and maintaining her oxygen levels, but she was released from the hospital the day they got up there. They took her home (she still lived alone in her own apartment right until the very end) to see how she would do. After a couple days she was very exhausted due to low oxygen levels, and they decided she would need to be in a nursing home. She literally spent less than 24 hours in the nursing home before she was readmitted to the hospital, then died early the next morning--which is exactly the way she wanted it to be--she was way too independent to spend one more second in a nursing home.

My family asked me to pick the scripture readings and the music for the funeral service, as they were all stressed out and exhausted and I was a little more removed since I wasn't in the thick of it.  I had to do a little research on Lutheran funerals since I'd never been to one before, but it all worked out.  Amy and Sterling and I did the music (four songs--Ster played two and I played two, and Amy and I sang all four), and our former aunt sang another.  It was a little crazy trying to hammer out the details with my family and the pastor and me on speaker phone while we were driving over the Rockies, but it all turned out, and it was beautiful.

Sharing the backseat with the rugrats...

Amy and Ster and I, with both dogs in tow, made the 10 1/2 hour trek to Montana together in their new Subie.  Sterling was a rockstar and drove almost the entire way both directions.  We stayed with our Grandma Laverne (a good family friend we've grown up calling "Gram" but is actually not related to us) about five miles out of town, which was a HUGE blessing.  She took care of the dogs while we were tied up with family and the wake and all the family drama (of which there was plenty), and it was nice to be able to run away from everything at night and go stay out at her house in the country.  Plus she is totally laid-back and HILARIOUS, which was definitely a breath of fresh air in many ways.

I also had the amazing blessing of a dedicated sweetheart who was a HUGE support throughout all of this.  From the moment I told him my Grandma was sick, he asked about her, prayed for her, and supported me through the whole thing.  The night I found out she was dying, as soon as I told him he instantly offered to come over, and when she actually passed away, he insisted I let him take me out for dinner that night, then we snuggled on the couch and prayed for her together (which was his idea--so sweet).  He was 1000% supportive, texting me all day long and talking to me every night, letting me vent and process and talk about everything that was going on.  He was amazing.  He IS amazing.

One of the only family photos we have of this side of the family.

We were able to meet some cousins we'd never met before (they are much older than Amy and me), so that was fun.  They had come from Oklahoma and California, and it was fun to spend some time with them.  We went out to a big family dinner with lots of people both nights, which was awesome.  Amy and I were asked to create a slideshow for the service, so we spent a lot of time working on it on Friday.  About six years ago my Grandma's water heater exploded and her house burned to the ground.  Obviously it was a huge tragedy, but in some ways it was a blessing in disguise, as it meant we didn't have 95+ years worth of accumulated stuff to go through that weekend.  It also meant, however, that most of her things were lost in the fire, so we didn't have a lot of photos to work from for this slideshow.  We ended up using my camera to take photos of the photos that were available, then threw the slideshow together on my laptop.  It was a lot of work, but it ended up being really nice.  And it kept us both pretty busy so we were able to avoid a lot of the craziness going on around us, which was also nice.

One of the best family photos we have!

It was great to be able to spend some time with our folks, despite the circumstances, and it was fun to be able to see my dad spoiling his grown up nieces, who he hadn't seen in many years.  They love him so much, and he clearly loves them, too.  They told us stories about him taking them horseback riding and driving them around town when he was a teenager and they were kids.  It was really cute.  It was a crazy four days (including two long days in the car), and yes, there was drama, but there was also a lot of laughter and conversation and love, and I think our Grandma would have been pleased with the send-off she received.

Gorgeous rainbow over the church before the funeral.

As we arrived early for the funeral, there was a huge, full, gorgeous double rainbow arcing over the church just as the casket was being unloaded from the hearse.  It was a beautiful reminder of God's promises to us that He is always with us and will never abandon us, and a blessing of peace and reassurance that she is in a better place.







In the eulogy, the pastor likened my grandmother to a hedgehog--soft and sweet and cute if you rub them the right way, but they can also be a little bit prickly.  It was the perfect comparison.  :)  My grandma collected stuffed animals, so before I left, my aunt gave me a sweet little blue and white teddy bear that will (God willing) someday belong to one of my children, so they can have something that belonged to their great-grandma.  It will be a good way to remember her.  Rest in peace, Grandma.  I love you.