"Lee" Comes to Portland, Part 1

*If you haven't read the blog before this, scroll down and read it first.*

I admit I wasn't really that nervous...or that excited. I mean, he was nice enough. We had plenty to talk about on the phone. But truth be told, I just hadn't really felt that special connection. I thought maybe it would be different in person, so I'd give it a go. I should have trusted my instincts. I should add here that I had seen photos of him and thought he was "okay," but not really that attractive...seeing him in person proved that was yet another place I should have followed my instincts.

"Lee" arrived in Portland on a Friday at about 4:00 PM...which was about 20 minutes earlier than he was supposed to arrive, which meant it was about ten minutes before I arrived to pick him up. Oops. Off to a great start. I asked him if he wanted to get settled in his hotel (it was his idea to stay in a hotel, although that was going to be a condition of the visit...I'm sorry strange man I've never met, no, you may not sleep in my apartment where I am also sleeping!) or go get something to eat first. He chose hotel--which was on the COMPLETE opposite side of town IN FRIDAY RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC--but we went for it. We finally got there and he got all checked in. We headed up to his room, where I thought he'd want to get settled a little. Apparently I was wrong. He literally dropped his bags inside the door and turned around and came right back out. Awkward, much?

So I decided to head to a restaurant on the other side of town at my sister's suggestion. It's a cool place with lots of fun atmosphere and things to look at, and I thought it might be fun. By the time we got there, it was about 6:30--keep in mind it was a Friday night--so the host told us it would be probably a 15-20 minute wait. No biggie. I have no idea how long we actually waited, but I will tell you that it was too long for "Lee." He was none too impressed. We were finally seated at an outside table (it was a GORGEOUS evening) and we ordered food and chatted. This was when I really started getting my first inclination of how this was going to go.

"Lee" would scarcely look me in the eye. He talked just a little too loud, just enough to make it seriously awkward. There were long gaps in the conversation where he just wouldn't say anything. And he kept checking his iPhone. Ummm...really? That's the first impression you're trying to make? So dinner was good, conversation was awkward, and I paid that night (to his credit, he offered, but I beat him to it. I figured it was the least I could do, since he bought plane tickets and was staying for three nights in a hotel...yeah, did I mention he bought his return ticket for MONDAY MORNING???!!!???).

By the time we finished, it was about 8:45. Knowing it was an hour later in his time zone and that traveling really wears me out, I asked him if he wanted to do something or if he wanted me to take him back to his hotel. He said he wanted to go to my apartment and play with my puppy. I'm not sure I would ask a girl to go to her place the first night, but again, I'm a traditionalist... So we headed to my apartment.

Allee was her sweet, rambunctious, loving self. She is still every bit puppy, although she settles down nicely now. So she greeted him with jumping and licking (she only weighs 20 lbs...no big deal) and loved on him like crazy. To his credit, "Lee" had told me he used to be really afraid of dogs and had never had pets growing up, so I knew he wasn't used to "puppy" behavior. But Allee was actually being really super good...yet after the first few minutes, every time she came over to him, he shoved her away. Not a good way to make a good first impression--on me OR her--buddy. He then proceeded to literally SHOW ME EVERY SINGLE PHOTO ON HIS iPHONE. Ummm, seriously? No girl needs to see 300 photos of your nephews...particularly not on the first night. One or two, sure. But 300? No thanks.

I kept asking him if he was tired and to let me know if he wanted to go back to the hotel. Note to guys: if you are at a girl's house and she asks you if you're ready to go, the not-so-subtle meaning behind that is that SHE is ready for you to go. Especially if she asks you more than once. Might be time to take the hint. Just saying. Truthfully, I was exhausted and I needed to make a game plan for the rest of the weekend. And I could only take so many hours of awkward conversation in a row. Finally around 11:45, he asked me to take him back.

I dropped him off at the hotel and told him to sleep in and text me when he was up and about. We said a quick goodnight and I headed back to my apartment.

Stay tuned for "Lee" Comes to Portland, Part 2.