Truth About Love and Marriage

Along with probably almost everyone I know, my heart and attention has been captivated the last few days by the events surrounding the wedding of the newly-titled Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. As a level-headed woman, I blame this on the fact that I lived for a time in London, and fell in love with the British culture and people and so anything British/English/Londonish always grabs my attention. And I will admit that the last few days have left me feeling VERY homesick for the city I once called home.

But there is, of course, like most women, a big part of me that not-so-secretly adores watching a beautiful woman find her prince and show us all a real-life fairy tale, especially in a time when so much of the news we see is not so good. I will be the first one to say the media hype was A LITTLE much (okay...a lot), but I think there's something to be said for two young people who can bring a large portion of the world together in a giant celebration of something so amazing and fundamental and REAL and important: LOVE.

I think the most amazing person of the whole thing is Princess Catherine. I know most of us are still swooning over her going from commoner Kate Middleton to full-fledged royalty--the future Queen of England. I recognize, of course, that she is gaining an incredible life, riches most of us can't begin to imagine, fame and fortune, etc., etc., etc. But she's also giving up a tremendous amount: her privacy, freedom to come and go as she pleases, her name!, and probably a lot more that I can't begin to imagine. But the cost was worth it to her because I really, truly believe she and William are in love. That's the best part of this whole thing. And she's handling all of this with such dignity and poise and grace. I really admire her.

I also love that she's the same age as me! Seeing her marry her prince and head off into her happily ever after gives me a lot of hope.

Okay, enough of the sappy stuff. Here's what I loved the most about the whole thing: the wedding sermon given by the Bishop of London. I loved that he spoke right to the couple and spoke truth about love that we don't often hear--truth that I think it behooves us all to remember when we think about love and marriage. And I think following his advice could really help ALL of us continue on our paths to happily ever after. I looked it up after I watched it, and I have read it several times now. I'm putting it here, because they are words I want to remember. Here is his sermon, in it's entirety:

“Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.” So said St Catherine of Siena whose festival day it is today. Marriage is intended to be a way in which man and woman help each other to become what God meant each one to be, their deepest and truest selves.

Many are full of fear for the future of the prospects of our world but the message of the celebrations in this country and far beyond its shores is the right one – this is a joyful day! It is good that people in every continent are able to share in these celebrations because this is, as every wedding day should be, a day of hope.

In a sense every wedding is a royal wedding with the bride and the groom as king and queen of creation, making a new life together so that life can flow through them into the future.

William and Catherine, you have chosen to be married in the sight of a generous God who so loved the world that he gave himself to us in the person of Jesus Christ.

And in the Spirit of this generous God, husband and wife are to give themselves to each another.

A spiritual life grows as love finds its centre beyond ourselves. Faithful and committed relationships offer a door into the mystery of spiritual life in which we discover this; the more we give of self, the richer we become in soul; the more we go beyond ourselves in love, the more we become our true selves and our spiritual beauty is more fully revealed. In marriage we are seeking to bring one another into fuller life.

It is of course very hard to wean ourselves away from self-centredness. And people can dream of doing such a thing but the hope should be fulfilled it is necessary a solemn decision that, whatever the difficulties, we are committed to the way of generous love.

You have both made your decision today – “I will” – and by making this new relationship, you have aligned yourselves with what we believe is the way in which life is spiritually evolving, and which will lead to a creative future for the human race.

We stand looking forward to a century which is full of promise and full of peril. Human beings are confronting the question of how to use wisely a power that has been given to us through the discoveries of the last century. We shall not be converted to the promise of the future by more knowledge, but rather by an increase of loving wisdom and reverence, for life, for the earth and for one another.

Marriage should transform, as husband and wife make one another their work of art. It is possible to transform as long as we do not harbour ambitions to reform our partner. There must be no coercion if the Spirit is to flow; each must give the other space and freedom. Chaucer, the London poet, sums it up in a pithy phrase:

“Whan maistrie [mastery] comth, the God of Love anon,

Beteth his wynges, and farewell, he is gon.”

As the reality of God has faded from so many lives in the West, there has been a corresponding inflation of expectations that personal relations alone will supply meaning and happiness in life. This is to load our partner with too great a burden. We are all incomplete: we all need the love which is secure, rather than oppressive, we need mutual forgiveness, to thrive.

As we move towards our partner in love, following the example of Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit is quickened within us and can increasingly fill our lives with light. This leads to a family life which offers the best conditions in which the next generation can practise and exchange those gifts which can overcome fear and division and incubate the coming world of the Spirit, whose fruits are love and joy and peace.

I pray that all of us present and the many millions watching this ceremony and sharing in your joy today, will do everything in our power to support and uphold you in your new life. And I pray that God will bless you in the way of life that you have chosen, that way which is expressed in the prayer that you have composed together in preparation for this day:

God our Father, we thank you for our families; for the love that we share and for the joy of our marriage.

In the busyness of each day keep our eyes fixed on what is real and important in life and help us to be generous with our time and love and energy.

Strengthened by our union help us to serve and comfort those who suffer. We ask this in the Spirit of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Congratulations and best wishes to this beautiful couple.

May God bless your marriage today and always, and may you truly have your happily ever after.