Advice to Teenage Girls, Part 1

This weekend I gave a talk at a Youth Rally to several hundred high school aged girls. We talked about self-image and the amazingness of being a woman, and just to add to it, I did a little crowd sourcing in preparation and asked my friends (men and women alike) for a little advice to teenage girls (or to themselves as a teenage girl). I received so many beautiful, brilliant, wise, insightful responses that I wanted to bundle them in one place. So with no further adieu...

Advice to Teenage Girls From Women Who Have Been There

Don't take yourself too seriously. Life is meant to be enjoyed. Don't waste your time on boys that don't want to waste their time on you. And finally...don't change who you are or compromise your values for anyone. Ever.

~Katie (30-something)

Two pieces of advice to my teenage self (and all the teenage girls I work with)--playing small does not serve anyone, especially women. Also, you will probably regret trying to be popular, but you will never regret being kind, even if it hurts you. True kindness, yours and others, will be what you remember best about these years.

~Cat (30-something)

"You can do hard things." This applies to every aspect of life: education, relationships, romance (abstinence)...integrity requires work.

~Rachel (30-something)

No matter how you feel in high school, most people don't marry their high school boyfriend. So even though he says he loves you and always will...wait anyway.

~Karalee (20-something)

Trust the people who raised you, because they know more than you think they do.

~Janna (30-something)

Don't underestimate yourself and your abilities. You are MUCH stronger than you think you are--physically and mentally. The world is wide open to you if you are courageous enough to take it on.

~Carissa (30-something)

Advice I would give? Don't care so much about what other girls think. Care about what you think. And remember that your thoughts are just as important as anyone else's, be they girl or boy.

~Ann (20-something)

Dignity and repect isn't something you need to earn. It is a gift you were given when God called you to be.

~Renee (30-something)

Embrace your own and others differences. Don't be a bully.

~Molly (40-something)

If it feels wrong it usually is. Trust your gut womanly instincts.

~Carly (early 30s)

If you are sneaking around, it is wrong without a doubt.

~Renee (30-something)

My daughter is 2 1/2, aside from my biggest desire for her to have a relationship with the Lord, I want her to be smart, capable, and indpendent. Yes, I embrace my role as a mother and a wife, but refuse to be locked in the kitchen and laundry room. Learn how to fix, build, and get dirty. And be nice.

~Andrea (30-something)

Don't rush, you have your whole life ahead of you. Live one day at a time while that's still possible.

~Lexi (early 20s)

You can do anything. Your dreams can come true, but it takes faith and hard work to see them through. Believe in yourself.

~Monica (late 20s)

High school is not as big a deal as it seems when you're in it. Life goes on after high school, and whether you were popular or not popular, whether you were an outcast or part of the in crowd, no matter what, life goes on and high school will fade into the distance. What you are now doesn't determine what your life will be like in the future. The girls you envied won't necessarily have it any easier when you're a grown up.

~April (early 30s)

And one famous one:

In bathrooms, boardrooms, buses, bagel shops, and everywhere else, we all need to imagine a little girl following us around, repeating everything we say and everythign we do. Think about all the things you want for yourself and your daughters, granddaughers, and girls everywhere--and teach them by living it yourself.

~Nell Merlino,

in "Stepping Out of Line: Lessons for Women Who Want It Their Way In Life, In Love, And At Work"