ARGGGHH!

I have had an "ARGGGHH!"-ish few days.  I'm trying really hard to be positive, but holy moly, it's hard.  This is a total stream of consciousness venting post, so be warned.

My friend's mom called me on Friday to tell me that my friend had left the safety of their home with her daughter and as far as they knew was going back to her old house with the understanding that her husband would only be there during the day to run his bike shop, but would stay elsewhere evenings and nights (excuse me for being skeptical, but...).  BAH!  No, wait...  ARGGGHH!!!

Battered Woman Syndrome (yes, it's a real thing) is SO FRUSTRATING!  I totally understand that it is a huge web of mind-control and manipulation and lies and all the rest, but when you're the one on the outside looking in it seems so obvious!  I haven't actually heard from my friend in probably a week and a half now, so she doesn't know I know she's back in Portland.  The truth is I told her as long as she was taking steps to get/keep herself and her daughter safe and get out of their abusive situation, I was on her side, but if she went back I was out and I couldn't help her anymore.  It sounds harsh (it feels harsh), but that kind of tough love is the only way to get through to her (and was the recommended stance by several counselors, social workers, and domestic violence professionals I consulted).  So I guess my official position now has to be that I'm out, and I won't help her anymore (assuming she actually went back to the house, which I'm pretty sure she did).

Please pray for her and her daughter, that she could have the strength to get them both out of a scary, controlling, dangerous situation once and for all, before anything worse happens.  And please pray for me that I have the strength to stick to what I told her if she comes asking again--my tender heart will not find it easy, I know that already.  ARGGGHH!!!

Whole different topic... Clay is finally done with his nightmarish work schedule (I haven't heard the official number, but I think he's probably worked 400+ hours in the last 4 weeks).  Hopefully things will go back to normal for us soon, because right now I am struggling.  Relationships are HARD sometimes, and we are definitely entering the 4 month freak-out zone...and I'm not sure which one of us is freaking out, exactly, but I would say today was certainly a freaking-out kind of day for me.  I'm definitely a quality time girl (5 Love Languages, anyone?), and the lack of ANY time, let alone quality time, these last few weeks has been tough on me.  Tougher still that he FINALLY had a day off today and I did not get to see him at all (but that's another story for another day).  So hopefully that will be remedied soon, we can spend some time together, and we can work out the freaking out business, because today was HARD.  Actually, this whole week has been HARD.  And I can't handle HARD for too much longer.  (P.S. Happy day for having a private blog for a little bit, because ordinarily I would not be quite this candid about this stuff, but there we go.)  ARGGGHH!!

Technology is a funny thing, eh?  Normally I like it and I utilize it a lot, but today it only served the purpose of making me feel left out and unwanted.  I think maybe I need a little technology break--can I go live in the woods for awhile? I wish I could get by sans laptop and cell phone for a few days, but I guess not until I can take some time off.  :/

Speaking of work...  ARGGGHH!!  'Nuff said.

My friend Briana posted this on facebook today, and I needed to see it (awesome when God speaks to us that way):

Okay, officially wayyyyyy past my bedtime now, so I guess my vent is over.  Please pray for me--my little heart is having a tough go at the moment, and I just need some extra help to be positive and not discouraged on many fronts.  You are all in my prayers, too.