So Now You See...

That's what I mean by both good news and bad news, and this being a weird time in my life.  My sweetheart and I were talking a couple weeks ago and he said he was really surprised I'm not more upset and broken up about my Grandma passing away.  I've thought a lot about this, and as I told him, of course I'm sad she's gone and I will definitely miss her a lot.  That being said, she lived a good, long life and she was ready to go, and I know she is definitely in a better place now, surrounded by family and friends and loved ones who have gone before her.  But the overarching thing that has gotten me through this is that while I had this sad, difficult, chaotic stuff going on, I also had this amazing, wonderful thing with him going on, and having that to focus on has really helped temper the sad parts.

Doesn't he have the prettiest eyes?  :)

When I get into a new relationship, I always wait a little while to tell many people about it, just to make sure it's actually going to go somewhere.  My sister had already met him and liked him, and we had been seeing each other for awhile by the time everything started going downhill with my Grandma.  On that Sunday, we went to church together and then were making lunch at my apartment.  I asked him if he planned on sticking around in my life for awhile, and he laughed and said, "I hope so!"  I said, "Good, I hope so, too.  So can I tell my family about you?"  He replied with a smile, "Yep.  I've already told my family about you."  So the night before she died, I told my family about him, and specifically asked my Dad to tell my Grandma about him.  Literally every time I spoke with her on the phone, she would say, "So, do you have a boyfriend yet, honey?"  My dad said he told her about him, and she was "plum tickled."  :)  I love my Grandma and I miss her, but I KNOW she is smiling down on me and is THRILLED that I have a special someone in my life who is so amazing and is making me so, so happy.

And the Rough News Is...

Marjorie Montana Hogan Forsman

We lost another family member last month. My 95-year-old Grandma Margie passed away on March 27. It was pretty unexpected and sudden, but that in itself was a blessing. In all reality, she was 95. She lived a good, long life, and at the end, she was tired and ready to go. But losing a loved one is never easy, even when you know all that is true, and it's been tough on my dad to lose his mom.

Grandma's high school graduation photo--so beautiful!

My parents were with her in Montana when she passed away. The truth is, I think she was just waiting for my dad to get there. She had been in the hospital for a couple weeks having some trouble with her heart and maintaining her oxygen levels, but she was released from the hospital the day they got up there. They took her home (she still lived alone in her own apartment right until the very end) to see how she would do. After a couple days she was very exhausted due to low oxygen levels, and they decided she would need to be in a nursing home. She literally spent less than 24 hours in the nursing home before she was readmitted to the hospital, then died early the next morning--which is exactly the way she wanted it to be--she was way too independent to spend one more second in a nursing home.

My family asked me to pick the scripture readings and the music for the funeral service, as they were all stressed out and exhausted and I was a little more removed since I wasn't in the thick of it.  I had to do a little research on Lutheran funerals since I'd never been to one before, but it all worked out.  Amy and Sterling and I did the music (four songs--Ster played two and I played two, and Amy and I sang all four), and our former aunt sang another.  It was a little crazy trying to hammer out the details with my family and the pastor and me on speaker phone while we were driving over the Rockies, but it all turned out, and it was beautiful.

Sharing the backseat with the rugrats...

Amy and Ster and I, with both dogs in tow, made the 10 1/2 hour trek to Montana together in their new Subie.  Sterling was a rockstar and drove almost the entire way both directions.  We stayed with our Grandma Laverne (a good family friend we've grown up calling "Gram" but is actually not related to us) about five miles out of town, which was a HUGE blessing.  She took care of the dogs while we were tied up with family and the wake and all the family drama (of which there was plenty), and it was nice to be able to run away from everything at night and go stay out at her house in the country.  Plus she is totally laid-back and HILARIOUS, which was definitely a breath of fresh air in many ways.

I also had the amazing blessing of a dedicated sweetheart who was a HUGE support throughout all of this.  From the moment I told him my Grandma was sick, he asked about her, prayed for her, and supported me through the whole thing.  The night I found out she was dying, as soon as I told him he instantly offered to come over, and when she actually passed away, he insisted I let him take me out for dinner that night, then we snuggled on the couch and prayed for her together (which was his idea--so sweet).  He was 1000% supportive, texting me all day long and talking to me every night, letting me vent and process and talk about everything that was going on.  He was amazing.  He IS amazing.

One of the only family photos we have of this side of the family.

We were able to meet some cousins we'd never met before (they are much older than Amy and me), so that was fun.  They had come from Oklahoma and California, and it was fun to spend some time with them.  We went out to a big family dinner with lots of people both nights, which was awesome.  Amy and I were asked to create a slideshow for the service, so we spent a lot of time working on it on Friday.  About six years ago my Grandma's water heater exploded and her house burned to the ground.  Obviously it was a huge tragedy, but in some ways it was a blessing in disguise, as it meant we didn't have 95+ years worth of accumulated stuff to go through that weekend.  It also meant, however, that most of her things were lost in the fire, so we didn't have a lot of photos to work from for this slideshow.  We ended up using my camera to take photos of the photos that were available, then threw the slideshow together on my laptop.  It was a lot of work, but it ended up being really nice.  And it kept us both pretty busy so we were able to avoid a lot of the craziness going on around us, which was also nice.

One of the best family photos we have!

It was great to be able to spend some time with our folks, despite the circumstances, and it was fun to be able to see my dad spoiling his grown up nieces, who he hadn't seen in many years.  They love him so much, and he clearly loves them, too.  They told us stories about him taking them horseback riding and driving them around town when he was a teenager and they were kids.  It was really cute.  It was a crazy four days (including two long days in the car), and yes, there was drama, but there was also a lot of laughter and conversation and love, and I think our Grandma would have been pleased with the send-off she received.

Gorgeous rainbow over the church before the funeral.

As we arrived early for the funeral, there was a huge, full, gorgeous double rainbow arcing over the church just as the casket was being unloaded from the hearse.  It was a beautiful reminder of God's promises to us that He is always with us and will never abandon us, and a blessing of peace and reassurance that she is in a better place.







In the eulogy, the pastor likened my grandmother to a hedgehog--soft and sweet and cute if you rub them the right way, but they can also be a little bit prickly.  It was the perfect comparison.  :)  My grandma collected stuffed animals, so before I left, my aunt gave me a sweet little blue and white teddy bear that will (God willing) someday belong to one of my children, so they can have something that belonged to their great-grandma.  It will be a good way to remember her.  Rest in peace, Grandma.  I love you.

So the Good News Is...

I met someone. This is my new(ish) sweetheart. Isn't he cute?!?! He is hilarious and sweet and thoughtful and goofy and smart and he has a heart for God and I am crazy about him. He most recently went to Seattle with me and we met up with Amy and Sterling to spend Easter with my aunt and uncle. He totally charmed my whole family (he has that effect on people). He is truly one of the most unselfish, kind, amazing people I've ever met, and a true Southern gentleman (he lives in Portland, but he's from Louisiana). He also has the most amazing eyes ever. Seriously. *Fingers crossed* I'm sure I'll be sharing much more about this newest development in my life, because I think he's going to be sticking around for awhile. :)

Good News and Bad News...

I'm at a REALLY weird point in my life right now, where I have all this fabulous and amazing stuff going on in my life, but it is tempered by all this stressful and sad and hard stuff going on at the same time. I can't decide if I should share the good news or the bad news first, but I assure you, both are coming soon. :) News of sad endings and happy beginnings soon to come...

Happy 100th Birthday, Girl Scouts!

March 12th was the 100th Birthday of Girl Scouting in the United States!! For those of you who somehow don't know this, I have been a Girl Scout for nearly 25 years, and I can easily say Girl Scouting is one of the major reasons I am the woman I am today.

Girl Scouting taught me how to be strong, independent, and brave. My coworker jokingly tells me I am an expert in everything, which is not true, but because of Girl Scouting I can:

• Teach horseback riding
• Climb mountains
• Speak in public
• Teach rock climbing
• Play the guitar
• Lead groups
• Plan an event
• Teach sailing
• Jump in a lake fully clothed just to make kids laugh
• Teach First Aid and CPR Classes
• Be a Lifeguard
• Appreciate service
• Sing a million songs about just about anything at the drop of a hat
• Call dozens of women all over the country my dear friends
• Teach canoeing
• Get away from a charging moose
• Identify TONS of different plants and wildlife, and give random stories and facts about many of them
• Point out constellations and teach astronomy
• Pitch a tent
• Teach kayaking
• Manage a budget
• Sing dozens of Meal Graces
• Cook for and feed a group anywhere from 3-300+
• Build a fire
• Do the Macarena
• Ease homesickness
• Get (and hold) the attention of a group of any size, from a few to many hundreds of people
• Get along with anyone
• Speak in public
• Cross-country ski
• Fill out paperwork
• Organize and play dozens of games with small or large groups with little to no preparation or supplies
• Throw pottery on a wheel
• Sleep ANYWHERE
• Put together an awesome flag ceremony
• Lead nature hikes
• Dress up and be silly
• Cook DELICIOUS food in a dutch oven
• Set and attain goals
• Pull together a skit for any occasion in less than five minutes
• Appreciate and celebrate diversity
• Fill time with something awesome and fun off the top of my head
• Make the world a better place

Not only CAN I do those things, I HAVE. And this is just a small part of a much bigger list. I owe so much of who I am today to the lessons and ideals I have gotten through Girl Scouting, and especially through camp. Yes, I sold cookies, so I understand that part of it, too, but Girl Scouting for me meant much, much more than that.

When I first moved to England, I was 20 years old and I literally knew NO ONE in London. It was right in the middle of the Salt Lake Olympics, and I was terribly homesick. I knew Pax Lodge, a Girl Scout/Girl Guide World Center, was in London, so I decided one weekend to go there and check it out. It was incredible. I instantly felt like I was at home--there were so many amazing people there from all over the world, and having the bond of Girl Scouting meant that I was instantly accepted and included, and we knew we had things in common. They invited me to the Thinking Day celebration later that week (Thinking Day is an international celebration of Girl and Boy Scouts/Girl Guides that takes place in February every year), and it was an amazing experience to join literally thousands of Girl and Boy Scouts from all over the world at Westminster Abbey, singing "It's a Small World" and other songs that virtually everyone knew. Girl Scouting has always been like a second home to me (and literally was a second home for all those years I spent working at camps). I will be forever grateful for the things it taught me and the woman I've become because of Girl Scouting.

And Now, the Men's Turn: Advice to Teenage Girls

After receiving so many wise, intelligent, brilliant, insightful responses to the question about advice for teen girls from the women in my life, I decided I should give the many kind, respectful, amazing gentlemen in my life the same opportunity to respond. Here are their thoughts:

Advice to Teenage Girls From Amazing Men

I would say to never let boys determine your self-worth. Be confident in who you are and don't compromise your values.

~Kelly (30-something)

Don't sweat it; the boys feel just as nervous.

~David (20-something)

Boys are dumb. :) Seriously, though, don't expect guys to pick up on subtle hints, messages, feelings, etc., especially in high school.

~Matt (30-something)

Go to church.

~Gavin (6ish)

Love yourself and if you want to ever be viewed seriously by a guy as a human, then dress beautifully, but modestly.

~Joe (20-something)

There's plenty of drama in high school, but if you refuse to get dragged into it, you'll really stand out.

~David (20-something)

Don't let other people determine what YOU will/want to do in life.

~Chris (30-something)

Don't worry about what society and culture says.

~Brandon (30-something)

Always be nice.

~Scott (10ish)

One thing that stands out is how women dress. You can be gorgeous and modest at the same time. Men will respect you for it!

~Mark (30-something)

Look at the way a boy treats his mother and sister and understand that is usually the way he will treat his wife and female co-workers when he grows up. If they don't treat mom and sis with respect it isn't magically going to change.

~Kevin (50-something)

-------------------------------------------------------------

I am beyond blessed to have so many gentlemen of amazing integrity and values who honor and respect women, and I thought these were AMAZING pieces of wisdom to share with all of us. Thanks, men!

Advice to Teenage Girls, Part 2

Advice to Teenage Girls from Women Who Have Been There

Be outgoing. Participate in events at school and church. Smile--it lifts your spirits and others' around you. Be active in group sports or individual spots. Wear sunblock, your skin will love you when you are 50.

~Angela (30-something)

Be modest. Take care of yourself and dress like you're worth a million bucks, because you are. Believe in yourself. You are important and no one can do what you can do in our world. Take pride in that.

~Katie (30-something)

DREAM BIGGER!!!!

~Alison (30-something)

I would tell my teenage self to just be me and do what makes me happy. Those girls that you are trying to press and be friends with, you will only be seeing them at reunions, and they are never as great as you thought they were 10 years before! You will still be in contact with the people who were your real friends.

~Jennifer (30-something)

I would tell my teen self: Know that you are valuable and important in this world. You deserve and should expect respect.

~Peggy (50-something)

You are beautiful. There are lots of boys who would like to talk to you. No, really, YOU! That girl who thinks this doesn't apply to you, you are who I am talking about. I had no clue I was attractive, thought I was too tall and sporty, too strong, my hair was too curly. I didn't think I was ughly, I just had no idea that I was beautiful. And all those boys, they were just too nervous to say hi because I was so damn hot and they didn't think they were good enough fo rme! Also, ignoring someone does not mean you are flirting with them. It's really okay to flash that beautiful smile and be friendly and actually get to know new people. Having one conversation doesn't MEAN anything is goin to happen, but it is still fun and I promise you--You will make their day!

~Jaime (30-something)

Waiting until you are married is the only way to give your whole self to someone. Every person you are with, you give them a little bit of yourself.

~Sarah (30-something)

Girls are mean--don't try to fit in, be yourself and don't apologize for it.

~Rachel (20-something)

No matter what, there is good and there is bad in every situation. You want to talk about winning the lottery? Guess what, you have to pay taxes and that's really expensive. So you can focus on the taxes or you can focus on winning the lottery, and you have to decide which side you look at. Every situation has a good side and a bad side, and it's up to you how you choose to look at it. You can laways find good in any situation, but the reverse is also true. If you're always focused on the negative, it doesn't matter the situation, you will always be unhappy.

~April (early 30s)

Don't be afraid to go out and do things by yourself. If you want to do something, don't wait until you can convince one of your friends to go with you! just go see that cool new movie/take that class/volunteer for that organization. Who knows, you might meet new people that you would then have something in common with!

~Kayleigh (20-something)

Don't worry so much about what other people think.

~Marian (60-something)

Imagine a circle and yourself in the ring of the circle with all others, holding hands in the game of life--you are not, nor do you want to be, in the center!

~Debbie (50-something)

My years as a teen in our schools was not a happy time for me, but looking back I really wished that someone would have told me...You will be hurt. You will be disappointed. Things will happen that are unfair. And it's all out of our control except how we handle it. Even if it's unbearable inside, keep a smile on your face and know that you are a beautiful daughter of our heavenly father, have confidence in yourself that regardless of what others might think. Believe in yourself. Believe that with every negative aspect of your life you can take control by adding positivity and beauty. We have THAT power. It's our super power.

~Katie (early 30s)

The teenage years are so hard! Find your true friends and don't give up on your dreams. Girls can do anything! But girls are so mean to each other, too. Don't be judgmental, you don't know what is going on in other people's homes and families.

~Andrea (20-something)

If you are "popular" in high school...nobody cares about that after you graduate. Really. Nobody cares. Nobody. Be kind. If for no other reason, you're going to attend your 10th, 20th, 30th, 40th and beyond high school reunions and you don't want to feel bad about the way you treated people.

~Ann (50-something)

Spend more time honoring and celebrating family time.

Sarah (20-something)

Don't sweat the small stuff, and listen to your parents, they are probably right.

Lauren (20-something)

"Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose." God blessed girls with their own personality, find your talents, and use them! God answers many prayers through other people. Use your talents to bless those around you.

~Andrea (20-something)

I would tell my teenage self that patience is a virtue and the butterfly will emerge from teh cocoon before you realize it. Also, not to place your self-worth on if a boy is talking to you or not, but from the love you receive from family and friends. That is where the true worth comes into play. Life isn't simple or easy, it's tricky and complicated...how amazing is that? Surroud yourself by those you trust and love, and the experience will be wonderful.
(And listen to your parents.)

~Belinda (early 30s)

If I could go back and tell my teenage self something, it would be, "Don't waste your time with those losers. You'll get your fair share of good guys and bad guys. Always be open to God's will for you, and for God's sake, nobody wants to see your ass crack!"
~Ciera (20 something)

Don't be in such a hurry to "grow up." Be an adult, be independent, but GO TO COLLEGE and enjoy the college experience. I didn't do that and now I regret it. One can always go back to school, but that time in your life is the only time one can truly fully experience "college" (roommates, college games, study sessions with all your single friends), etc. I don't regret getting married and having babies early, but I wish I would have also seen the value in going away to school and doing the roommate/college thing, too. I feel I missed out on something special there.

~Hope (30-something)

There will always be someone smarter than you, thinner than you, faster than you. Be humble. You will always be smarter than someone, thinner than someone, faster than someone. Be kind.

~Erika (30-something)

-----------------------------------------------------------

It was such a privilege and a blessing to hear from all these wise, insightful, strong, beautiful women, and to be able to share their words with this group of girls. Please feel free to share any of these gems of inspiration with anyone who might be able to benefit from them...even if you are just young at heart, I think these are good pieces of wisdom for all of us to hear.