Cake!

I made this pretty cake for my supervisor's birthday--didn't it turn out great?  (Okay, so I might have been kissing up a little...hey, I know good business practices when I see them, and making nice on your boss's birthday is never a bad idea!)  I had never tried the "don't frost the edges" look, but I thought it was really cute and rustic-looking on a blog I saw.  It was white cake with chocolate chips, with chocolate frosting and fresh raspberries.  YUM!  And apparently it was worth the effort (and the hot apartment), because she sent me this email the next day:

"Hi Jen:
Just wanted you to know that I took the cake you made me for my birthday home-----and my husband LOVED it!!!  He said it’s the best cake he’s EVER eaten!  So I’m trying really hard not to be offended that he doesn’t seem to remember any of the cakes I’ve ever made---but thought I would pass that along to you.  I enjoyed it an awful lot  too.

Thanks so much for sharing your talent in that way…you are an amazing baker!

Cindy"

I also tried using a little bit of the cake mix to "flour" the pan instead of using flour and it turned out GREAT--it didn't leave the weird white edges at all, and having just slightly less of the dry ingredients made the cake extra moist.  So YAY for another fun creation.  :)

GET OVER IT.

I'm probably a huge jerkface, but lately I know a few folks who could benefit from this message...
and okay, it made me laugh on a tough day.

(Don't worry...none of my friends or family qualify.)

Mmmmm, Garden Tomatoes!

I LOVE TOMATOES!!  Seriously, I could live on tomatoes (in high school, my best friend April and I literally did survive on tomato sandwiches for a couple months--YUM!), and there is NOTHING better than a tomato fresh from the garden.

This year is my first ever attempt at growing my own tomatoes.  I'm growing three in topsy turvies (which are super cool, by the way), and four in pots.  This beauty was my first ripe one, which coincidentally turned red on my birthday!  Happy birthday to me!  :)  Even though I've accidently tried to kill them about a dozen times already, they are absolutely loaded with tomatoes and I'm just about ready to pick the second red one (that green one in the photo is finally almost ripe).  I'm soooo excited!  Cheers to an awesome garden bounty for everyone trying out their green thumb!  :)

Rafting 2012

I wasn't having any fun at all.  Can you tell?  :)

About a week and a half ago, I had the opportunity to go rafting with a bunch of people from my work.  My friend and co-worker, Scott, sets it up and we all take the day off and go play on the Deschutes River.  Scott is a guide, and if you ride on his boat, you can expect to be very wet and have a GREAT ride.  We had a lot of fun...even though a week and a half later I am still black and blue.  I guess that means it was a really good time, huh?  

I told you he gives us an intense ride!  :)  But no one fell out!

 

So, yep.  That's what I've been up to lately.  :)  Hanging in there.

Endings.

"Everyone deserves a happy ending.  If it's not all you've dreamed, then it's not your happy ending."

I read this quote today, and it really resonated with me.  As my friend Jo said recently, sometimes the Lord has other plans for us, and sometimes we don't understand, at least not right away.  Apparently Clay was not my happy ending.  :( After a rough week or so, Clay and I broke up.  We both still care deeply about each other and hopefully someday we'll be able to be friends, because he's awesome.  I am, of course, heartbroken, but I am trusting that if Clay (or any of the other great guys I've dated) isn't the one God has for me, then whoever "the one" is must be pretty darn special.  If only God could hurry up and send him my way...

I'm trying hard to be brave and strong and keep my head up, but I'm sure you all know it's just tough.  And breaking up a week before my birthday is especially hard.  I have the best friends (although I wish I lived closer to all of you!), and I know I am a very lucky and blessed girl.  It's just hard sometimes.  I know that fear and frustration and hurt are not what God wants for me, and not what will help my heart heal.  But God has a plan and I trust that He loves me and wants me to be happy, and has an amazing future for me and for all of us.  I'm praying for confidence and courage in God's plan, and the ability to let go of all my insecurity and allow God to heal me and help me move on to a future full of hope.

So please pray for me.  I know we all go through hard things, and lots of my friends are going through a huge variety of hard things right now, so know that you all are also in my prayers, and I love you.  Here's to all of our happy endings...

Raspberries and Strawberries and Blueberries, oh my!

Summer has FINALLY arrived in Portland!  And now that I live practically down the street from my sister (which is AWESOME, by the way), we are finding even more fun adventures to take together.  Yesterday we rode our bikes to downtown Portland to go to the Farmer's Market (so fun!).  And last weekend when our Mom was in town, we took her out to Sauvie Island, conveniently located about ten minutes from us, and picked raspberries and strawberries and blackberries.  It was SO FUN!  Amy and I kept asking ourselves why we've never gone out there and done this before!  We got 20+ lbs of different berries for $28--sooooooo awesome!  They went straight into the freezer, which means a summer of delicious smoothies at our fingertips--YUM!  :)

This (plus a big bag of blueberries) was what we took home--delish!  :)

ARGGGHH!

I have had an "ARGGGHH!"-ish few days.  I'm trying really hard to be positive, but holy moly, it's hard.  This is a total stream of consciousness venting post, so be warned.

My friend's mom called me on Friday to tell me that my friend had left the safety of their home with her daughter and as far as they knew was going back to her old house with the understanding that her husband would only be there during the day to run his bike shop, but would stay elsewhere evenings and nights (excuse me for being skeptical, but...).  BAH!  No, wait...  ARGGGHH!!!

Battered Woman Syndrome (yes, it's a real thing) is SO FRUSTRATING!  I totally understand that it is a huge web of mind-control and manipulation and lies and all the rest, but when you're the one on the outside looking in it seems so obvious!  I haven't actually heard from my friend in probably a week and a half now, so she doesn't know I know she's back in Portland.  The truth is I told her as long as she was taking steps to get/keep herself and her daughter safe and get out of their abusive situation, I was on her side, but if she went back I was out and I couldn't help her anymore.  It sounds harsh (it feels harsh), but that kind of tough love is the only way to get through to her (and was the recommended stance by several counselors, social workers, and domestic violence professionals I consulted).  So I guess my official position now has to be that I'm out, and I won't help her anymore (assuming she actually went back to the house, which I'm pretty sure she did).

Please pray for her and her daughter, that she could have the strength to get them both out of a scary, controlling, dangerous situation once and for all, before anything worse happens.  And please pray for me that I have the strength to stick to what I told her if she comes asking again--my tender heart will not find it easy, I know that already.  ARGGGHH!!!

Whole different topic... Clay is finally done with his nightmarish work schedule (I haven't heard the official number, but I think he's probably worked 400+ hours in the last 4 weeks).  Hopefully things will go back to normal for us soon, because right now I am struggling.  Relationships are HARD sometimes, and we are definitely entering the 4 month freak-out zone...and I'm not sure which one of us is freaking out, exactly, but I would say today was certainly a freaking-out kind of day for me.  I'm definitely a quality time girl (5 Love Languages, anyone?), and the lack of ANY time, let alone quality time, these last few weeks has been tough on me.  Tougher still that he FINALLY had a day off today and I did not get to see him at all (but that's another story for another day).  So hopefully that will be remedied soon, we can spend some time together, and we can work out the freaking out business, because today was HARD.  Actually, this whole week has been HARD.  And I can't handle HARD for too much longer.  (P.S. Happy day for having a private blog for a little bit, because ordinarily I would not be quite this candid about this stuff, but there we go.)  ARGGGHH!!

Technology is a funny thing, eh?  Normally I like it and I utilize it a lot, but today it only served the purpose of making me feel left out and unwanted.  I think maybe I need a little technology break--can I go live in the woods for awhile? I wish I could get by sans laptop and cell phone for a few days, but I guess not until I can take some time off.  :/

Speaking of work...  ARGGGHH!!  'Nuff said.

My friend Briana posted this on facebook today, and I needed to see it (awesome when God speaks to us that way):

Okay, officially wayyyyyy past my bedtime now, so I guess my vent is over.  Please pray for me--my little heart is having a tough go at the moment, and I just need some extra help to be positive and not discouraged on many fronts.  You are all in my prayers, too.