LB and I have been dating for over 6 months now. (My, how time flies!) We've known each other for almost 10 months. And in the six months we've been dating, we have managed to see each other almost every weekend, with the exception of his drill weekends. Considering the weather (it's been winter almost the whole time we've been dating!) and our schedules and the distance, it's pretty miraculous that since we started dating seriously (so, let's say Christmas), aside from his drill weekends, there have only been two weekends we haven't spent together. One weekend he was working and needed the time to catch up on things, and the other was two weeks ago, after my surgery, when he had to work and I was still recovering and too sick to join him. Amazing. I am so blessed that we've both been committed to this enough to make that happen.
We spent this last weekend together, which was awesome, and totally necessary because he leaves on Saturday for three weeks of Army training. He has to report at 7:30 AM, which means I will certainly NOT be seeing him at all this weekend. That means we're not going to see each other for a month. This is the longest we have gone without seeing each other, and let me tell you, I'm DREADING it. I know it seems silly--since we're long-distance and don't get to see a lot of each other anyway, you'd think a month apart would not be that big a deal (it's not THAT long, right?!?)--but I know it's going to be really, really hard on me. I thought it wouldn't be that bad, but this weekend I realized I was totally wrong. Since we get so little actual, physical time together, I really hang onto every moment we do get, so weekends are kind of sacred for me in that respect. Going basically four weekends without having that time together will be no fun. I guess in some ways I'm almost a little nervous about it.
I think part of me tends to get a little insecure about my relationships when I don't have that connection. My love languages are quality time and touch (so if you know about love languages, you can see how I NEED those times together), and with my track record of dating guys who are not very committed, not having that connection tends to cause me to get a little uneasy. I know LB is totally different from other guys I've dated and he is definitely committed to this relationship and to me, so I keep reassuring myself, but it is hard sometimes.
He told me last week we WILL be able to talk on the phone, at least a little bit, which was a huge relief. Neither of us are big phone talkers, but unless there's a really good reason, we try to talk every day. We know that connection and communication is important, especially since we can't see each other every day. I was really nervous to even ask him if we'd be able to talk, because I was afraid to hear the answer would be no. He said we probably won't be able to talk every day, and probably not for the last week when he's in field training, but for the first couple weeks, we should be able to talk/text at least a little. That will help.
LB also started a new job this week (more on that in another post later), so the last few weeks have been lots of stress and craziness and transition. He had a group of students on a leadership retreat all last week, so we didn't really get to talk much last week at all. Between not talking to him, not feeling well from my surgery, and anticipating this next month apart, the last week and a half of not seeing him was really hard on me. Harder than usual. So I can only imagine how this next month is going to be.
Saying goodbye to him is never easy for me, but saying goodbye on Monday evening was especially tough, knowing it was the last time I'd see him for a month (I'm usually pretty tough, but I will admit I definitely cried this time). My heart is not in Portland right now. And if what they say is true, about absence making the heart grow fonder, then it will be interesting to see what happens after this long time apart without much communication. All I know is I already really miss him. June is going to be a long month.
Anyway, sorry this post is long and rambly (you can thank the pain meds and the emotions for that) and not very upbeat. If any of you have successfully navigated a long-distance relationship, I am definitely open to tips and suggestions for how to make it successful and how to get through it when it's hard. And this is my official notice that I will definitely be looking for distractions to keep me busy during the evenings and on the weekends. So if anyone needs a phone date buddy in the evenings for the next month, I'm your girl. But fair warning: if LB happens to call...I might have to call you back. :)
1 comment:
Oh, Jen, that is going to be rough. The longest I've been away from Brandon is a week and that was hard. Of course, I had kids to deal with, too, but just being away from him was difficult.
If we were closer, I'd say you could come hang out. Or I could come up there and hang out. Maybe we can catch up with a phone call.
Good luck, sweetie! Hang in there, and I really hope that June passes by quickly for you.
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