"Lee" Comes to Portland, Part 3

*For this to make sense, first read "Adventures in Dating, Part 2," then ""Lee" Comes to Portland, Part 1" and ""Lee" Comes to Portland, Part 2."*

My sister had asked me to bring chairs from my house to the party, so I loaded up chairs, cake, beverages, and everything else I was supposed to bring and hit the road. It struck me as a little odd that he hadn't offered to help load the car, but I brushed it off. We got to my sister's house and parked in Sterling's spot (he hadn't made it home from work yet) so we could unload. We grabbed everything except the chairs and ran inside. I introduced my sister to "Lee" and asked if she needed the chairs, and she said to bring them in before I moved the car. As I headed out the door, Amy called after me and asked if I needed any help. Note to guys: ANY other guy in my life who had been with me would have said something along the lines of, "Here, Jen, give me your keys and I'll go get them." It wouldn't have mattered if it was my dad or a guy friend or a boyfriend, literally any of my other friends would have done that. "Lee" didn't even offer to help, even after Amy asked me if I needed help. Ummm...can you say common courtesy?

I ran out (by myself), grabbed the chairs, put them in her basement, then moved the car so Ster could have his spot. By the time I got back in, my mom had finished getting ready and had already been introduced to "Lee." I helped Amy get some last minute things finished, and then people started coming.

You guys, I seriously did my best that night. I sat (on the floor) right next to the big recliner he had chosen to sit in. Sterling's best friend was the life of the party and kept everyone laughing the whole night. "Lee" barely said a word. When he did, it was again just a little too loud, kind of awkward. I realize I was the only person there he "knew," but Amy also had friends there with dates who didn't know anyone except their date. It wasn't like he was the only one who didn't know anyone, and no one else seemed that uncomfortable. I honestly didn't know how to make it any better. Also on the common courtesy thing...he got up several times to get things for himself or throw plates and stuff away and never asked if anyone else (including me) needed anything or offered to take anyone else's plate. Again, any other guy I know would have asked me (and everyone around us) if they wanted anything else, offered to take their plates, etc. Anyway the party was fun, despite the awkwardness, and mostly I was just REALLY grateful for something to do with other people!! And other people to talk to and interact with, since he wouldn't talk much...which still seems weird since he wanted to talk my ear off on the phone EVERY DAY.

We left my sister's house around midnight, and I took him back to his hotel. I told him I'd pick him up for church at 10:45ish the next morning, and I headed home. By this time I had decided that I was NOT attracted or interested in him, and so I was trying to devise a plan that included letting him know that without being a jerk, and how to spend the rest of the weekend without feeling totally miserable about the whole situation. I called my mom, who agreed with my assessment of his awkwardness and lack of social graces.

The next morning I picked him up at 10:45 and we headed to church. I prayed literally the entire time that somehow God would make him figure out for himself that there was no chemistry so I wouldn't have to break his heart or hurt him unnecessarily. After Mass, we went to go find some lunch.

Sidenote: another guy I used to date told me once that one of the major things he looked for in a girl was, if he unlocked her door and let her into the car first, to see if she reached across and unlocked his door for him. Another common courtesy, and second nature to me (apparently I passed that test, or I don't think he would have told me, and I know we wouldn't have gone out for as long as we did!). He told me he wouldn't date someone who didn't think about things like that. Consequently, ever since that has been something that has caught my attention as well. So the weekend that "Lee" was in town, I was driving a rental car (my car was totalled and I hadn't had a chance to buy a new one yet) with manual door locks. So every time we got in the car, I let him in first. NOT ONCE did he reach across and unlock my door, even after church when I had to wait like 2 minutes for the lady on my side of the car to back out of her spot before I could get in!! I can't say that was an impressive part of the visit.

We went to this awesome place for lunch that I love--Salvador Molly's, so unique and "Portland-ish." Knowing I am deathly allergic to peanuts, he sat and ate a whole bunch of them in front of me before our food came (well, at least I had a good excuse not to have to kiss him!). At this particular restaurant, they bring you empty glasses and a pitcher of water. He poured himself water, but none for me. Note: another bit of common courtesy...you always pour drinks for whoever is sitting around you with an empty glass...especially if you're on a date!

So he barely ate any of his lunch, and then I asked him what he wanted to do for the afternoon. Without hestitation, he said, "Can we drive out to the ocean?" Now, he had asked me the day before how long it took to get to the beach, and I told him it took about 1 1/2-2 hours each way, depending on traffic (not exactly a short trip). Nevertheless, he wanted to go to the beach. *sigh* I did not AT ALL want to go to the beach, nor did I want to spend FOUR HOURS in the car with him, but I figured, at this point, the least I could do was make sure he had a good time on his first trip to Oregon, and that if he wanted to go to the beach, that was probably a fair(ish) request. So we went.

Stay tuned for the final installment of "Lee" Comes to Portland...